Why?

Yesterday was a particulary difficult day adoption wise. My day started out with news that the CCAA has had staff reductions as well as changes to the special needs program such that the agency we work with may not be participating in the new program for special needs adoption any more. That was followed up by some more news that basically said the slow down will continue.

The news hit me pretty hard because in the back of mind I keep thinking it's going to get better. But yesterday I really questioned myself, wondering why are we doing this again when we have such a perfect family and I even went so far as to tell Brian that I was sorry I had even asked that we adopt again. At lunch time I went driving around and spent some time in prayer and asked God to please show me if we were supposed to just forget the whole thing, or to somehow let me know we are doing the right thing. Probably not the best prayer in the world, but I was so discouraged. After the initial few hours of worry and concern, I knew deep down that somehow - someday - some way, it will all work out according to God's plan and that I just need to keep the faith.

This morning I was reading through my email and had a link to this video from a fellow adoptive parent that lives in Washington that I had met during the process of adopting Emma. This pretty much confirms for me why we are doing this again. I just need to be patient ...

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xcmz_adoption1